Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Fight or Flight

While driving Meg to work this morning Meg and I got into a heated conversation (she claimed we were fighting, but I beg to differ).

Anyhow, this is my attempt to recreate the conversation...LOL, I'm still laughing!

Me: You know how people take pictures of their bellies when they're pregnant and post them on facebook?

Meg: Yea?

Me: It's weird when they take pictures before they're even showing

Meg: (silent)

Me: What are you thinking?

Meg: I'm thinking that I don't want to do that

Me: Why?

Meg: Because it's none of their business. Our friends will see my belly in person

Me: Why wouldn't you want people to see it? Are you afraid of people finding out you're pregnant? Because they will find out!

Meg: No. It's just that our society revolves around technology and if they're our friends then we will hang out. People are too busy texting and using facebook that they don't even pick up the phone anymore. I don't want to be like that.

Me: Okay, so when you said we needed an Iphone to immediately download pictures of our baby to facebook when he/she is born, you didn't really mean it? The Iphone is totally off the table.

Meg: You can't tell me the Iphone is off the table. I'm an adult. I can buy whatever I want.

Me: I'm not telling you what you can and can't do. You have so many quirks.

Meg: And you're just perfect.

Me: No, I mean when you think I'm telling you that you can't do something you get all defensive.

Meg: (starting to raise her voice) Stop yelling at me

Me: (laughing) I'm not yelling at you. You're yelling at me. I would say sorry, but you're too upset. You're too much in the front of your brain to even realize I'm apologizing.

Meg: You mean in the back of your brain.

Me: No, I mean in the front (cracking up). You're just wrong

Meg: The front of the brain is where you want to be. That's what we teach the kids. Call Andrea. She knows!

Me: Well, fine! You're in the back and need to get in the front! (laughing uncontrollably)

Meg: Why are you laughing?

Me: Because after 8 years we know how to push each other's buttons and this is the dumbest conversation ever. You know that you're going to call me in an hour and say you're sorry and that you love me.

Meg: (less than 2 minutes later) I'm sorry. I love you.

Me: (laughing again) You didn't even make it an hour!

Meg: (CRYING)

Me: Why are you crying? (laughing harder)

Meg: Stop laughing at me!

Me: I'm not laughing at you. I just don't understand why you're crying!

Meg: I feel sad.

Me: Why?

Meg: I don't know.

Me: (still laughing) Maybe if you were laughing with me you wouldn't feel so sad!

In case you're wondering who was right...Meg was. When we get mad we go into "Fight or Flight" mode. The "fight or flight" mode is our body's primitive, automatic, response that prepares our bodies for a perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival. By its very nature, the response bypasses our rational thought (the front of our brain) This concludes today's psychology/anatomy lesson. 

We're 6dpiui (6 days post IUI) and one thing is for sure...hormones are raging! The verdict is out as to whether they are an early sign of pregnancy or from an impending "aunt flow."

On another note, I packed the chicken that "had a weird consistency" for lunch again. This time I put it in a separate baggie as to protect it from getting wet from the lettuce (I figured this was the problem). Meg just text me to say it was disgusting and still had a weird consistency..She threw it out.

I just walked into the kitchen and tried it. It tastes fine!

8 comments:

  1. I forgot to mention the best part...Meg told me that I am in love with facebook. I threatened to delete it. She, of course, called my bluff!

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  2. I found this blog through your babycenter profile and no longer have any desire to read it. Seriously? "It's weird when fat people do it"? So because I'm "fat" I'm not allowed to be excited about my child? Plenty of people think that because we're lesbians it's "weird" for us to be pregnant at all. Maybe your wife's silence was due to your ignorance.

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  3. Ok, first off, I only published this comment because I have NO way to respond to you since you anonymously posted. Second, I was talking to my partner last night and said that someone was going to think I was really shallow for posting "It's weird when fat people do it" because it's taken out of context.

    I used to be 85lbs heavier, so believe me I am by no means judging anyone. I actually said it because NO ONE shows at 2 weeks, so when a friend posted pictures to facebook it was weird.

    I'm truly sorry if that upsets you. I never intended to hurt anyone. The actual purpose for writing was to make people laugh about Meg's hormones.

    The purpose of the blog is to show people that lesbians aren't any different than heterosexual women and to document the hurdles we are forced to jump over on our journey to motherhood.

    Again, I apologize. I encourage you to read the other posts and wish you the best of luck when TTC. If you would like to continue this conversation you can email me at Jwiegand83@yahoo.com

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  4. I'm actually very happy that you corrected yourself and explained where you were coming from. It still is, unfortunately, offensive. This part of the post would be removed, I would think, if you truly felt remorse. And you were right - it does sound shallow. I'm not intending to be cruel by saying that, but am encouraging you to really correct this and remove the "fat" reference altogether.

    I grew up with an overweight parent and heard comments like this my whole childhood. She actually did nothing to be "fat" (she probably ate less than you) - she did, however, feel humiliated by comments like this from people like you (like you meaning people who are willing to think and say these things, perpetuating this type of environment).

    In addition, you have already chatted with some of the "fat" women who are on the GLBT board. It really was a huge letdown to read this after that.

    You, of all people in this world (being in a lesbian relationship), should understand how it feels to have strangers make insulting comments and judgments. I'm sure someone has had something to say about you or your partner at some point (whether you knew it or not)? In addition, you of all people, should be careful with your words, as a potential parent. Look at it this way - with ttc, you will have a child some day. I doubt you'll want to teach her or him to discriminate based on something so shallow.

    Best wishes,

    Sharri

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  5. Sharri,

    I'm really glad you were able to read my response to your previous post. While I do feel deeply sorry for offending you, I cannot undo the past.

    I can edit the blog, but it doesn't change what I've already done. That's not reality. The fact is, I hurt you, but the part that you're missing is that it was never intended to happen and will never happen again (at least not intentionally).

    As for what you said regarding becoming a potential parent, I offer you this...I intend to raise my child to be the best individual that he/she can be. I will encourage him/her to admit when they have made a mistake and learn from it (as to not do it again).

    You can think what you want, but I don't judge people by the color of their skin, how much they weigh, whether they are gay or straight, tall or short, etc. I don't judge people period.

    Sadly, you've already made up your mind about me. You think I am a shallow person, but Sharri, I'm just human. No one is perfect.

    TTC is one of the hardest things my partner and I have ever had to do. If you cannot support us in our journey and positively comment on this blog I am asking you to respectively take your thoughts elsewhere.

    Again, please accept my apologies.

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  6. I have edited the blog as per your request. I feel as though it accurately portrays what I meant to say all along. Please accept my apologies.

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  7. It takes a lot of compassion for someone to do what you have done and to reply as you have. More so, I respect your choice to update your post (truly). Thank you for caring what others feel - not everyone does.

    Honestly, I believe that your actions (taking the time to reply and removing a comment that was hurtful to a few) are what reflect who you are. A post meant in humor that was taken in a way not intended by the author does not. We've all done it - myself included.

    Congratulations to you and your partner on your journey of TTC. I wish you all the best.

    - Sharri

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  8. Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.

    I don't know you, but I have a need to please people. To say that it bothered me that I upset you so much is an understatement.

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